Free play, Montessori, Nature play, Independent play, play group, outdoor play and more. How does your child learn to play? How do you as a parent teach your child to play?
Learning to play is integral to our child’s growth and development. But it takes practice, patience and persistence. Lets learn about play!
The gift of Boredom
Finding the right balance between playing with you child or children and allowing them to learn independent play is tricky. We live in a world of constant entertainment. Even as adults we struggle with feelings of boredom. Instead we fill our down time with screens, podcasts, online shopping, socializing and more. The art of being bored in some cases is lost. Growing up my mother used to say we were never allowed to be bored. She didn’t mean boredom doesn’t happen. But she wanted to encourage us to get creative with our time, be productive or enjoy quiet moments.
Quiet moments, with no demands are a gift. They allow us to think through problems, dream up ideas and relish in cherished memories. For our kids this is also true. It is in these moments of boredom that we truly learn to play!
The guilty parent
I was watching my son this morning as I was working at the computer. He had spent a good hour exploring the house and spending time playing with me. He was completely engrossed in his toys. It spurred up a thought. Why do I get a sense of guilt sitting him in his play pen for some focused playtime? Normally his play pen is kept open and he can access his toys as he pleases but for some times during the day we close the play pen for some focused play.
This morning I was eager to get a few reports written and computer work and toddlers do not go hand in hand. As I closed the play pen earlier a sense of guilt briefly crossed my mind. Am I being selfish for putting him in his play pen so both of us can do some focused work? Does he feel neglected.
Watching him play, so focused and happy, for those brief moments this morning, solidified for me what I already knew from my training as a Occupational Therapist, and from the wisdom of other mothers before me………Jack was learning to play, and to play well!
What is play
For children we know through research that play is extremely important and fundamental to development of gross and fine motor skill, imagination, emotional regulation, problem solving and attention. In a sense, play for children is literally their job. They are learning through play how to be functioning adults. In the safety of the play space your child explores taking risks, creating, failing and focusing.
Play can be done as a group or individually. It is seen as a leisure or enjoyable activity and through our development and across our lifespan play changes and evolves. For example young babies have a very small understanding of the world. Their play is generally solitary or with an adult. They predominantly are working out cause and effect and some sensory stimulations such as texture, taste, smell, as well as basic communication. Whereas your Kindy child is beginning to play in social situations. They create scenarios and games it is a much more complex activity.
Often play is a reenactment of the adult world. We see children vacuuming the house behind Mum, soothing the baby and making dinner. Learning to play is a combination of observation, reenactment and reimagination of a new scenario.
Creating Opportunities for Learning to play
This reenactment of the adult world leads on to how can we create opportunities for learning to play. Rather than feeling like you are a terrible parent because all your child wants to do is have you play with them. Start thinking of creating opportunities for play both with you or on their own.
Independent play and play zones
A child needs to learn to play and to play well. Times of independent play are crucial to this entity. However, many times parents feel the need to hover around the kids as they play due to safety issues, worry about breaking objects or worry about how your child will manage the group play situation.
Yes we need to check in on the safety of our children. But we also need them to accept and thrive in environments that don’t just throw information at them on how to play think and be. E.g. TV or gadget toys. These safe play environments can look like play pens for toddlers, sandpits, backyards and toy rooms. Spaces where kids are free to imagine and build on their play skills. Free from parent involvement. Sometimes it may even require parents to tell their kids to play in the space for a set amount of time in order to build up the skill and ability. Yes, sometimes we need to force our kids to play independently and that’s ok! Playing is important and you teaching them to focus in on play is only helping them grow!
Allowing time for play
Two more prominent things can happen in our daily lives to limit time for free play.
- To many scheduled activities and formal events. e.g. sports, dance, art class etc. In themselves these are ok activities but the modern parent can confuse the raising their child to be very good at sports or academics with the importance of play. They are told that one is of more value than the other. The issue lies with raising kids to be very smart but have difficulty with social scenarios, time management, problem solving and creativity/imagination. Remember it is in the time of boredom or free play that our children relax, unwind and grow!
- The second challenge we see with allowing time for play is technology. Yes I am bringing this up. 4 hours of TV after school is not play. Instead it is again a time spent absorbing information and being told how to be, think, or do. One key example of our children’s dependence on technology is to look into the modern day vehicle or at a restaurant. Our children have such a difficult time with siting still and not being entertained that it is rare to see a car or table without an iPad or phone to consume their attention. (books, colouring in, small toys like cars or figurines are a great alternative here).
So here is your job parents. Stay home more and allow those free moments. Send your kids outside or to the toy room more than in front of the TV. Don’t be afraid of telling your kids to play or letting them loose in the sand pit for some messy activity time. And lastly, allow them to play! don’t see it laziness but as hard/important work for our kids!
Top Tips for pLay Time:
- Schedule in or allow for daily free play time
- If you child is whining or complaining of boredom try encouraging play and limit reliance on technology for entertainment.
- Reduce your structured activities, especially after school.
- Introduce routines that allow for play e.g. (School kids)afternoon snack, free play, homework, bath, dinner, play and bed. OR (baby/toddler) Nap, feed, free play, play with parent, feed, nap.
Types of toys to encourage Learning to play
I remember when my sisters and I used to play Barbie’s. Their were a few of us so being the youngest of the three older girls we had to share. So naturally my oldest sister had the house and some fancy Barbie clothes, my second oldest sister had the caravan and some pool party outfits and what was left was the remnants of fabric, safety pins and the red sports car. No I am not asking for pity but instead I am trying to make a point. Toys do not need to be complicated. They don’t need to be many and they don’t need to be fancy.
Some of my favourite toys to see are blocks, Duplo or Legos. Cars, dress ups, dolls and kitchen play. None of these toys make noises, none of them tell you how to play instead they create opportunities for play. They inspire imagination!
Can you see the pattern of reenacting adult life. You will find your kids building houses, walking the baby, going to the grocery store and teaching at school. You don’t need the newest whiz bang figurines or toys. These are great for a time but the toys that really inspire are the classics.
Setting up your toys
As mentioned before we need to allow our children spaces to play. And as parents it is also important to organize and set up toys and play spaces. Children have a very hard time playing is a chaotic and messy space. You will find they will flit from item to item and also lose interest in they play space quickly. Storage cubes and setting up ‘themed’ spaces can help with this. For Jack at his young age it might be setting out the musical instruments in one corner and the cars lined up ready to drive in another. For older kids it might be separating the Lego from the food, and the trucks from the doll clothes.
Top Tips for TOys:
- Minimize and organize your toys
- Choose toys that encourage imagination and have endless uses e.g. blocks, or dress ups.
- Clean up at the end of each day
- Rotate toys (store toys or sets in a separate box or cupboard and every few weeks pull out a different set).
- Set up toys in a themed or systematic way (play kitchen with food), Car mat with cars etc.
PIN IT FOR LATER – SHare it with Friends
REsources for Learning to play and Where to source toys
- Toy libraries
- Op Shops
- Craft stores
- Do a friend swap of toy rotations.
- Check out this great article for more tips on creating a great play space – Space to Play [and Learn]: 10 Tips for Creating Great Play Space
- The Playroom
Great & helpful post Danae!
Thanks Sheridan! Love to hear your positive feedback!